Children's Television is better than Cocomelon (And why that's important)

 

Cocomelon is a YouTube channel aimed at kids that was created in 2006 and has since gone on to not just become one of the biggest YouTube channels of all time but one of the biggest kids’ media conglomerates of all time, too. It’s got tons of merchandise, full video compilations streaming on Netflix, its own original Netflix series. They even have a full live-on-stage touring performance!

Naturally, you would assume that something that was able to reach such heights of popularity would have to be pretty good, right? …And that’s where you’d be wrong. As sad as it is, quite a few things in this world don’t get popular because they’re good, but rather because they’re easy to make and consume despite their terrible quality, and that’s the category Cocomelon falls into.

Now I know what some of you are thinking: “Noah, what’s the big deal? This looks like a harmless baby show made to entertain babies. It doesn’t look terrible or dangerous.” And that’s the problem. Cocomelon doesn’t put forth any actual effort to give children the quality entertainment they deserve. And frankly, it’s that kind of laissez-faire attitude that’s put us in the current epidemic of iPad babies we have on our hands today.

Kids are like sponges, they absorb every new experience they have and what you choose to show them can have a huge impact on the kind of person they grow up to be. That’s why you shouldn’t just expose them to nothing but YouTube Kids Nursery Rhyme content. That stuff is scientifically proven to destroy brain cells. (It’s called “YouTube Brainrot” for a reason.)

Now, anyone who knows me knows I like to fancy myself as a Children’s Television Connoisseur. I’ve seen everything from every USA children’s TV channel there is: PBS Kids, Sprout, Nick Jr., Playhouse Disney/Disney Junior, Discovery Kids, Qubo, you name it, there’s a chance I’ve seen it. So, I’m fairly certain I have a good grasp on what makes a good kids’ TV show, because I’ve witnessed many great examples of, not just good, but GREAT TV shows, and in this blog post, I’m gonna go over nine examples and highlight one specific area they excel at that Cocomelon fails miserably in. So, let’s get started, shall we?

9 Kids Shows That Are Better & More Developmental For Your Kid Than Cocomelon

Now, I want to preface this by saying that I did have to watch quite a bit of Cocomelon to make this post, and I DO NOT recommend any of you do the same. This was done for research purposes only. That being said, I can assure Coco is not breaking any new ground with its content. In fact, it’s barely making a dent.

Every song and every episode I’ve seen is as boring as a plain loaf of store-brand bread. It’s just boring people doing boring stuff. Even when there’s conflict, it lasts as quickly as it’s brought up. The people behind it don’t seem to give its audience anything that isn’t surface-level.

“But Noah, Cocomelon was designed to be consumed in small bursts. What kind of stories could they possibly tell?”

Well, let me answer your question by directing your attention to the Island of Sodor.

Thomas and his machine pals have been with me since my early development years, and I owe a lot of my morality and development lessons to them. I mainly learned how to talk and say words by quoting some of my favorite Thomas lines, and do you know how long the average Thomas episode (From seasons 1-7) lasted? About four minutes, give or take a few seconds. That’s around the same time as most Cocomelon videos last.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, it had been a while since I watched Thomas, but I re-watched some episodes for this blog, and I still knew pretty much every line of dialogue by heart. The first seven seasons of Thomas have permanently carved themselves into my brain. I can easily tell you about the time Thomas and Bertie had a great race, or the time Henry got bricked up in a tunnel (And did NOT die), or the time Diesel tried to get Duck sent away, or the time Thomas scared Percy with a paper dragon, or the time James crashed into some tar wagons, or the time an unnaturally huge boulder caused mass destruction, and I can go on. (No really, I CAN go on.)

Meanwhile, I guarantee you that after I finish this thing, I’m gonna forget all about every single Cocomelon video I watched. And know this, I won’t be losing ANY sleep over not knowing that JJ lost Cody’s favorite toy.

But why is that? How can someone like me remember seven whole seasons of something and not remember any videos of something else? Is it because I’ve been a massive Thomas fan ever since I was two? Or is it because I have Asperger’s and a great memory? Well, those are definitely both factors, but I think the biggest reason is because… Thomas & Friends is just that good.

For those of you who aren’t aware Thomas was the brainchild of the GOAT Author, Reverand Wilbert Awdry, a guy who knew that good storytelling can last a lifetime. His writing philosophy can be summed up perfectly in this particular quote.

And that’s totally true. When you’re making something for kids, you have to make sure that their parents/guardians are okay with witnessing it over and over again. My parents can attest that Thomas & Friends was all I cared about for a good majority of my life. But the reason that I still remember, rewatch, and treasure these stories, is because they were stories made with substance to give people something new to think about. Instead of just straight up telling us what we were supposed to pick up on, Thomas’ stories were driven by characters making decisions based on their memorable personalities that contributed to an actual narrative that was being cultivated.

Throughout these stories, I learned so many lessons that Cocomelon could only dream of teaching effectively: Being content and confident with your talents, appreciating your home, taking action when something needs to be done, nature is an untamable beast, never giving up when faced with a challenge, no matter how bad things get, they can always get better, and probably the most important lesson of all: Karma is a b**ch.

No, but seriously, you get what I’m saying, right? These stories were written with the sole purpose of leaving a lasting impression with interesting premises, distinct characters, and poignant lessons. It just so happened to also be a show centered around sentient machinery.

Another thing that made these stories so great was that they weren’t always happy and upbeat. Sometimes they could be sad, sometimes they could be scary, sometimes they could be tense, and sometimes they could be just unsettling. In Cocomelon, every video and episode has the exact same tone. Everything in the world of the melon is always unbelievably positive and sickeningly sappy, and they never really try to get any other emotions out of you besides joy, and that’s not only limiting, but it’s also giving them unreasonable expectations for how things are in the real world.

If you go online, you’ll find quite a few parents who say they’ve witnessed their kids having withdrawal tantrums and meltdowns when they’ve been forced to stop watching Cocomelon, and I have to theorize that it might be because everything in Cocomelon is SO Super-Happy all the time, the kids have no real frame of reference for when things don’t go their way or end up badly, and as a result, they just lash out. I can’t say for certain that that’s really the case, but can you really tell me it doesn’t make at least a little bit of sense?

The Unlucky Tug made a great video going into this topic in greater detail, which you can view down here. Please give it a watch, it’s very informative.

And if there are any of you reading this who think that Thomas is a scary show about creepy slave trains ruled over by an evil authoritarian man, I’d like to politely tell you that’s simply not the case. Thomas is about a really nice railway with friendly talking trains kept in order by a nice man who loves them very much, and take it from someone who grew up watching it, it will have a positive impact on your kids because it’s actually trying to tell stories that will appeal to everyone no matter what age you are.

And for those of you who want to see real examples of this, I have two other people I’d like to recommend: First, there’s Joey Turner AKA: Jasper Pie, who makes really amazing comic stories about Sodor, that feel like they could be actual episodes of the show, which you can view here. And then there’s Trampy, who took these stories and made his own (Ages 13 and up) adaptation series with them, that’s different, familiar, and downright hilarious all at the same time, which you can view here.

And for the parents who are still wondering if Thomas is really worth it, let me just show you one episode of the show that perfectly sums up why it’s resonated with so many people. Please watch this episode and tell me what you think of it afterward, I want you to hear your feedback.

If you ask me what the most important part of any TV show or movie is, I will always always ALWAYS say characters. Put simply, if we want to care about what’s going on, we have to care about the people we’re following. And how are Cocomelon’s characters? Well frankly, Cocomelon doesn’t have characters, it has avatars. Pieces of 3D cardboard that are just there to rattle off whatever lesson they want to teach. The only one who’s even slightly recognizable is JJ, and that’s only because he’s the face of the brand. He doesn’t have any actual traits or unique relationships that would help him stand out. (And I guarantee there’s someone out there who thought his name was “Cocomelon.” Or “Coco.”)

The cast of Cocomelon is made up of nothing but self-inserts, and I should know. I’ve written one myself. JJ and his friends are avatars with no real identities so the kids watching at home can project themselves onto them. The problem with this is… that’s boring. If someone wants to watch themselves for hours, they can just put on some home movies. If your TV show doesn’t have real characters with real concrete identities, then what’s the point of watching it? Because it’s educational? Well, news flash, there’s a certain educational show that’s been around for 55 years and (hopefully) counting, with characters that have been around for just as long.

Sesame Street’s first and top priority was to educate kids, but the people behind it knew that in order to do that, they needed to be entertained while they were learning. And one of the ways to accomplish that was to make characters that were like the kids watching for sure, but also had actual concrete personalities, traits, and designs to help them stick out and be remembered.

Jim Henson was great at a lot of things, but the thing he excelled at was making characters that people wanted to watch. That’s why Jon Stone recommended him for the show, and it’s thanks to his contributions and the characters he helped make that Sesame Street stick around for as long as it has.

Not only does having the cast of your educational TV program have actual, distinct personalities help them stick out to your audience but it also allows you to hone in on certain lessons and have certain characters who are tailor-made to teach them. In fact, let’s do a quick lightning round. I want you to imagine that you, yes, you reading this right now are a little kid watching TV, and of the two characters that I list, tell me which one you would rather watch and learn from.

Okay, first question: Who would you rather learn about eating healthy from? Some random little boy or a furry, blue, big-mouthed creature with googly eyes who loves cookies, and can eat just about anything?

Who would you rather learn math from? Some random little girl or a purple vampire who loves to count more than anything in the world?

Who you rather learn about negative emotions from? Some random guy or a green grump who loves being miserable and lives in a trash can?

Who would you rather learn about relationships between best friends from? Two super best buddies who are exactly the same and almost never argue or bicker or two guys who are as different as different can be and constantly get on each other's nerves but still love and care about each other deeply?

And last one: Who would you rather spend the majority of your time watching? A generic kid with nothing to actually differentiate himself from all the other kids in the world or an 8-foot-tall yellow bird, a pink magical fairy, and a little red furry 3½ monster who refers to himself in the third person?

Okay, if you chose all of the second options, you have excellent taste. If you chose all of the first options, I really don’t think they’re gonna leave as much impact as you think they will. As the cast of Cocomelon are all self-inserts, while the cast of Sesame Street are all children surrogates. The difference is that while the Muppets of Sesame Street do have traits and quirks that the children they were made to entertain have, (curiosity, obsession, impulsivity, neuroticism, kindness) they are their own characters who were able to carve out their own identities. We all know how each of them would react to a situation, and since Sesame Street has gone on for so long and has so many characters within its roster, chances are you’re bound to be able to find someone who relates to you. Maybe you relate to Don Music and his and his never-ending writer’s block. Maybe you relate to Forgetful Jones and his tendency to forget everything. And I know for a fact that a lot of you can relate to Benny Rabbit and the stress his job causes.

And that extends to the human characters as well. Unlike the melon, which has humans who are practically interchangeable with each other, Sesame Street doesn’t use the fact that it has bright, colorful, puppet characters as an excuse to not do anything with its human cast members. Every single recurring human, from Gordon to Nina, managed to make their mark on the show just by being themselves.

Why do you think so many people remember when Mr. Hooper died? Because Mr. Hooper wasn’t just a store owner, he was the true grandfather figure of the whole street, he had 15 seasons worth of episodes and moments for people to be endeared by him, and they would feel something when he left Earth, just like Big Bird did.

Or Luis and Maria’s wedding. That was a culmination of two characters we already knew pretty well coming together and forming a relationship, and if the story that Sonia Manzano likes to tell about how a mom sincerely poured her heart about how her child witnessed their love story and how beautiful it was is anything to go by, it had an impact.

I can’t imagine either of these two things happening in Cocomelon, because the characters weren’t designed to carry these kinds of storylines. They weren’t made to leave a mark, they were made to take up space. Sesame Street is the antithesis of Cocomelon in every way imaginable, but I wanted to highlight specifically how it’s used mostly the same ensemble of characters for multiple decades and they haven’t once gotten stale. People of all ages feel actual happiness whenever the street residents make an appearance anywhere, and I can’t imagine anyone besides really little kids, showing that same kind of emotion for Cocomelon characters, but rest assured, that’s gonna change as soon as they become teens, because the melon does not have the longevity to span generations.

So, if you’ll recall when I said parents were having trouble getting their kids off of the melon because it had a death grip on their attention, well, that was on purpose. While Cocomelon may seem harmless on the surface, they employ some very sneaky, dirty, and underhanded techniques to get kids hooked on them.

The scenes change and cut as quickly as possible, everything on screen is constantly moving, the songs have the most overt and inane lyrics ever, and the colors are as bright as humanly possible. All of these attributes make it so that the videos have complete control over kids’ attention spans so all they feel compelled to do is consume Cocomelon without picking up anything substantial. There’s video evidence of kids watching Cocomelon, and not answering when their parents ask them a question, because they’re so visually stimulated they can’t break away.

Nick Jr.’s Blue’s Clues is not like that. Like Cocomelon, the people behind Blue’s Clues also use some clever tactics to get kids’ attention, but unlike the melon, the reason is that they want their show to enrich the minds of the children watching. As detailed extensively in this wonderful mini-documentary. Give it a watch when you can.

Blue’s Clues was not designed to get kids addicted to slop, it was designed to prepare kids with the knowledge they’ll need for school and life. Blue’s Clues doesn’t want kids to just watch its episodes, it wants them to use their brains and actually pick up on whatever thing they’re trying to teach. That’s literally the main purpose of the game the show revolves around. If your kid is jumping up and shouting “A clue! A clue!” whenever they see a blue paw print on the screen, or if they’re trying to figure out what the answer to Blue’s Clues is before all three clues are found, that’s a good sign. It means your kids are paying attention, can notice something important, come up with ideas, and vocalize it.

Cocomelon has been scientifically proven to decrease a child’s ability to function as a human being, but Blue’s Clues used the research team it had to craft the most engaging way to learn lessons possible. The colors are bright, but not exceedingly so, scenes are given tons of time to breathe, things don’t move around nearly as much and the songs are actually clever. Also, both Blue’s Clues and Netflix’s Cocomelon Lane have formulas they execute for every episode. But while Coco’s formula just feels so mind-numbing, and basic that most episodes feel exactly the same, Blue’s Clues formula is so tight, that even though the same things happen in each episode, none of them feel like copies or repeats. I’ve said this multiple times but Blue’s Clues is the preschool Phineas and Ferb. You know what’s gonna happen, but it’s the how that changes.

The other thing that gives BC the edge on proper audience engagement is the way the characters address the audience directly. In Cocmelon Lane, JJ will just say hello to the viewers, tell them what’s going on, tell them to imagine with him, and then blatantly recap what happened in the episode at the end, even if he’s not the main focus. That feels artificial, like he HAS to say that because it’s a kids' show. There’s no actual connection being formed.

Now Steve Burns, on the other hand, took the concept of acknowledging the audience and perfected it to a T, and no one has ever really come close to beating him. Not Dora, Not Barney, not even Joe, Steve’s brother and replacement for seasons 5 and 6. Steve mastered the art of talking to people one-on-one. In every episode, he feels like he’s trying to have a genuine and different conversation with whoever’s watching. Whenever he addresses the viewer, he sounds very genuine and earnest. He really makes the audience feel like they're there alongside him, and helping him and the other characters in their world with whatever they need help with. Not to mention, he does different things and gives different responses in each episode based on the plot that’s unfolding. Also, Steve spoke to us about nearly everything that was on his mind. If he wanted to show us something, he would tell us, if he was feeling a certain way, he’d let us know, if he wanted to show his appreciation for us, he would,  and if he ever needed help with something, you’d better believe he’d ask us to give him a hand. And that helped build that interpersonal relationship I was talking about beforehand that the show wanted to cultivate, and it really helps us feel for Steve in certain moments when he feels vulnerable. Not to mention it gives kids many opportunities to actually vocalize their own thoughts and opinions.

Steve has mentioned in a lot of videos that he really struggled with his identity and separating himself from his TV persona. He tells it the best in this video above. And I have to say, he may not be Fred Rogers, but he’s pretty darn close. In general, he seems like such a nice and down-to-earth guy, and that’s what draws everyone to him. It’s why his 25th-anniversary message hit so close to home and broke the internet. We were getting to talk to an old friend who acknowledged how far we’ve come, and that’s another thing that Cocomelon will never achieve. They’re too busy getting kids to be mindless zombies who can’t survive without them.

Blue’s Clues doesn’t just want your children to survive without them, it wants them to thrive. That’s why it’s one of the best.

By now, I think you can probably gather that a show as milquetoast as Cocomelon isn’t exactly a show that goes out of its way to be funny. Which is a shame, because kids love to laugh. Comedy is one of the best ways to get anything across to your audience, and all the other shows I’m comparing it to have tons of humor to be found. But for this one, I wanna highlight a certain show that is overlooked and quite underrated: The Upside Down Show.

If you’ve never been blessed with the knowledge of what The Upside Down Show is, it’s a Nick Jr. show developed by Sesame Workshop that aired from 2006, its debut to 2012 with a grand total of… 13 episodes. Yep, unbelievably this show only made 13 episodes, and trust me, with the quality they had, they should have had more.

TUDS follows brothers, Shane and David and their adventures inside the TARDIS that is their house, with their invisible remote that can do anything and everything. Absurd premise, right? Well just wait until you see it in action. It’s hilarious.

Shane and David are played by The Umbilical Brothers, (And have the same names as their TV counterparts.) who are some of the best performers I’ve ever seen. They specialize in a specific type of mime performance called microphonic mime. Basically, they’re mimes who can talk. And let me tell you, the amount of things they can do and pretend to have is quite literally endless. Half of the comedy comes from them pretending to do things with invisible objects and making the sound effects openly. You might think that would get annoying, but it doesn’t because these two just ooze good chemistry in every scene they’re in.

As we’ve gone over, Cocomelon doesn’t make any real attempts to actually entertain its audience, it just wants to desperately keep their attention by flashing colorful moving objects on the screen. And that’s where The Upside Down Show has it beat. When comparing the output both shows have, it really is quality over quantity, because all 13 Upside Down Show episodes have more time, care, and effort, and are better for kids to watch, than every single Cocomelon thing combined. And what makes it even better is that TUDS actually wants its audience to laugh. There are jokes told all throughout the series, and they all land perfectly.

The Umbilical Brothers have described The Upside Down Show as an adult show for kids, and I think that description perfectly describes it. When it comes to humor, it delivers jokes that can be appreciated at any age and doesn’t try to talk down to its audience while doing it. The humor was absurdist in a way that was never really done before. That’s why people who still remember it today think it was a fever dream. As said at the beginning of this session, Cocomelon doesn’t even attempt to make any jokes or do anything that would make anyone other than babies laugh. If you want a show that gets funnier every time you come back to it, this is that show.

So, if you haven’t watched The Upside Down Show yet, please do yourself a favor and watch it. The Umbilical Brothers uploaded all 13 episodes to their YouTube page which you can view here. They all last up to 24 minutes, so it shouldn’t take too long.

So, I’ve demonstrated that while Cocomelon tries to pedal educational concepts to its audience, they’re not actually educational. And that’s shown in how they never really go beyond the basic things like numbers, letters, and nursery rhymes. And while there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, the way Cocomelon brands itself is very limiting. First impressions are everything, and Coco’s first impression screams: “We’re not gonna teach kids anything they couldn’t get literally anywhere else. But we will make sure they’ll keep watching it by any means necessary.”

And then you have something like VeggieTales, probably THE MOST popular Christianity-based piece of media on Earth. It’s true what they say in the theme song: There really has never ever ever ever ever been a show like VeggieTales, and do you know why? Because it made a statement that it wasn’t like anything it was up against.

Religious media, in general, tends to come off as condescending, alienating, and almost cult-like, in some cases. Their only goal seems to be drilling into your head that their way is right and everyone else’s way is wrong, and there’s no better way to turn someone away from your beliefs than by making them feel like they’re bad for not doing the same thing you do.

But that’s where VT differs. Phil Vischer didn’t just want to spread the word of God to children; he wanted to make something that would entertain them and their families. And that’s just what he did. To me, it’s no wonder VeggieTales was able to gain the affection of Non-Christians because its main draw was having likable and memorable characters, songs that go harder than they have any right to, and fun stories and scenarios with funny jokes that people of all ages could appreciate.

But the more important quality of VT was how it got the stuff it wanted to teach across to its audience. Even though the show was preaching Christianity, it never really came off as empty or condescending, because they explained why the lessons they were teaching were important through the stories they told. Not to mention the lessons were very simple and not as Christian-centric as one would expect. (Don't be selfish, be kind to others, lying is wrong, be thankful for what you have, be forgiving of others that are close to you, you are not limited by your size, etc.) And here’s the kicker: The show didn’t make its audience feel bad for not taking God’s lessons to heart, but rather illustrate that God is a great being who cares about everyone and only wants what’s best for you, and if you keep his values in mind, it’ll pay off greatly in the long run.

They’ve even called out close-minded Christians who think they’re above everyone else and wish misery on people they don’t like, and in their first-ever movie, no less. Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie is the retelling of the story of Jonah, one of God’s messengers who gets tasked with sending a message to Ninevah, the worst town on Earth, a task that Jonah detests SO much, that he actively tries running away from it, and through a chain of unfortunate circumstances gets swallowed by a whale. But through the compassionate and merciful heart of God, he gets a second chance to fulfill his duty, and he does. He delivers the message and everyone in Ninevah renounces their rotten ways. So, you’d think Jonah would be cool with that, but he’s not. He actually thinks that God will erase Ninevah from existence, completely ignoring the lesson he just learned about second chances, and even states that he would rather be dead than accept Ninevah, which results in Kahlil, a caterpillar Jonah befriended along the way, trying to talk some sense into him, saying things that are still relevant to this day.

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe God loves EVERYBODY, not just you?! That maybe he wants to give EVERYONE a second chance?!” -Kahlil

By the end of the story, all of Jonah’s friends abandon him and leave him to wallow in his self-pity. Jonah, in this specific retelling, is a perfect example of how not to act in real life. And this is from a Christian piece of media.

Do you think you’re ever gonna get a hard-hitting message like this in Cocomelon? Of course not! And it’s not because Cocomelon is a secular property. It’s because Cocomelon doesn’t want kids to think. It only wants them to consume their videos, and make them more money. And if their brains rot in the process, so what?

VeggieTales’ overall statement is summed up perfectly in the tagline they use to end the show: “God made you special, and he loves you very much.” In that line alone, you know exactly what VeggieTales is as a show, and where its priorities lie. The main thing VeggieTales was teaching us was how to be a good person, and while it did have a few misfires and problematic elements here and there, it still holds up pretty well. It’s able to explain its beliefs and lessons gently, geared towards people of any age, and has plenty of other features to help it stand on its own without religion.

VeggieTales says: “We care about you and your kids. We want them to know about who God is, how great he is, and how loved they are by him. And we want them to have a great time while doing so.”

Cocomelon says: “We don’t care about the children! We just care about their parents’ money! The fact that their feeble minds are easily manipulated by bright colors and constant movement is no skin off our nose!”

And I don’t know about you, but I’d pick the former every time. And so should you.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m using the Tubbies as an example of great children’s TV. Teletubbies has always gotten a bad reputation since its creation. It’s even received the unfair title of brain rot in recent years, and I’m getting a little sick of it. So I’m here to tell you that Teletubbies is a really great show and WAY more beneficial for your kids to watch than Cocomelon will ever be.

Now there are a lot of things that go into making Teletubbies so great, a lot of which are gone over in these three videos I will link down below.

But the main thing I want to highlight here is how it makes a more engaging and immersive world for kids to get lost in. In Cocomelon, we focus on generic humans in generic human places doing generic human things. Occasionally they’ll throw some colorful anthropomorphic animals into the mix, but for the most part, JJ and his friends aren’t going on any fantastical adventures.

In comparison, Teletubbies centers around colorful aliens with TV screen stomachs who live in a faraway land with endless green hills, loudspeakers that appear randomly from out of the ground, and a giant magical pinwheel that radiates pink sparkles, where bunny rabbits roam free and the sun has a literal baby face.

And I haven’t even mentioned their house! They have a slide that works both ways, (How else would they be able to jump up in the intro?) buttons and levers that make all kinds of noises, a sentient vacuum cleaner, automatic doors, and machines that supply them with endless amounts of tubby custard and tubby toast. How many of you wanted to try tubby custard and tubby toast as a kid? I know I sure did.

Which place sounds more interesting? Teletubbyland or JJ’s school? Be honest now.

I think a big reason why Teletubbies’ magical setting works so well is that they don’t draw attention to the illogical way their world works. Helps that it’s not in the real world. They just let events play out so kids can see what goes on during a regular day in Teletubbyland. You don’t have to think about how things work because you’re taken in by how whimsical it all is. And while Cocomelon can only let scenes last for seconds at a time, Teletubbies takes its time with every part of each episode. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that Teletubbies has great pacing. From the moment the sun rises at the beginning to the moment it sets at the end, everything happens at a steady pace, and nothing is rushed through, and that in turn, gives kids the chance to actually take in the setting they’re witnessing, and see it for how beautiful it really is.

Teletubbies does have quite a lot of haters, people who say that they’re too creepy and scary, and their world is too weird, and to those people, I’d like to say, at least it’s making an effort to stand out. At least it’s trying to give you something you’ve never seen before. Those who grew up watching this show know what I’m talking about. Teletubbies is the kind of thing that sticks with you long after you’ve seen it. Cocomelon is the kind of thing that passes in and out and barely leaves a mark on you.

If you can, show your kids the original run of Teletubbies from 1998 to 2001, and let them get lost in the magical world that is Teletubbyland.

If you couldn’t tell from everything I’ve been saying so far, and by just looking at it, Cocomelon isn’t something trying to provide anything for the parents that may get roped into watching it alongside their kids. This melon was conceived to be something that parents who want their kids to be quiet for multiple hours put on an iPad and just consume. Now I’m not in any way saying that kids' media should fully direct their attention toward grown-ups, but you have to make it so that they won’t mind watching if they’re asked to, and I just can’t see that being the case with Cocomelon, on account of it being mindless dribble.

Now, I’m of the firm belief that none of the shows I’ve been talking about have this problem. At the very least, you can find certain aspects or moments of each show that you enjoy, but Bluey takes it to the highest level physically possible.

If you’re a parent reading this, chances are, I don’t need to tell you how much Bluey has been blowing up with adults lately, and there’s a very good reason for that: The show is aimed at parents just as much as it’s aimed at kids.

I’ll admit, when I first found out about Bluey, I didn’t think much of it, and I didn’t know why so many people were obsessing over it. But as I started watching more and more episodes, I got the hype. Bluey is basically a giant lesson in parenting. While every episode may seem like just the Heelers playing a game or doing something else, throughout the course of each episode, a deeper meaning is revealed that says something about life & family relationships that’s worth taking in.

It’s no wonder people have already been able to pick their favorite characters and episodes so easily, because the writing is realistic and relatable enough to appeal to everyone while still forming its own identity. If you want proof of this, check out this video by two of my personal favorite YouTubers, who connected with the show so much, that they were able to form two separate top 10 lists with episodes that spoke to them as individuals.

You will never ever ever ever ever EVER see someone make two separate lists about favorite Cocomelon episodes and/or videos, because not only is the show not providing anything for parents, it's not providing anything unique amongst its own catalog! In fact, TheOdd1sOut sums up how Bluey stacks up to Cocomelon in his Bluey video, where he talks about one of the greatest and most iconic episodes “Baby Race.”

I could not put that into words better if I tried.

Now, as I’ve shown you, I’m not the first person to sing Bluey’s praises. Lots of people have done that already, so to put it briefly, Bluey is a show that embodies family relationships and how important they are. That alone makes it better than Cocomelon and DEFINITELY makes it worth watching with or without kids. So please do so. And be prepared for emotional overdrive when you get to “The Sign.”

Now I’ve mentioned in the past that animation isn’t my main priority when watching something. I care much more about the stories and characters, but that doesn’t mean animation, if there is any, isn’t important or doesn’t impact the viewing experience, and in Cocomelon’s case, that impact is definitely negative.

Not only do the characters and backgrounds have really generic designs, but in the videos, every movement is so stiff and lifeless. Water especially doesn’t move naturally in this world. Even when the animation gets somewhat better in Cocomelon Lane, the only thing that changes is the movement looks more natural. They’re still bombarding their audience with bright colors, non-stop movement, and scene changes every three seconds, and it’s all these elements combined that make it so kids who watch Cocomelon are using their whole brain capacity to process what they’re witnessing.

Pocoyo, on the other hand, is a show that isn’t the greatest animation ever but is still one that uses this visual medium to tell fun and engaging stories. For starters, Pocoyo may be a human, but he has a rather cute and iconic design that helps him stand out amongst his competition. I think we can all agree Pocoyo looks cuter than JJ. Can’t we?

And then you have the rest of the cast, which consists of shapeshifting ducks, pink elephants, red 4-tentacled octopi, semi-circle-shaped birds, all kinds of aliens and so much more, and each of them has iconic designs of their own that help them stand out amongst each other and give the show its own style.

This is also reflected in the setting & backgrounds as well. Unlike Cocomelon, which takes place in a generic town with generic places, Pocoyo takes place in the void. with nothing but pure white nothingness. …Yeah, doesn’t sound very interesting, but you’d be surprised how much they’re able to do with what little they have. It helps that the bright characters and the bright and exciting shenanigans they get into provide a great juxtaposition to where they are.

Plus, they don’t stick to this background ALL of the time. The cast often travels to space and the ocean and the backgrounds are changed accordingly. The void will even get dark in some episodes that take place at night. In fact, if you want to see a really great space animation, check out this awesome music video.

While I’m not particularly fond of how Pocooyo has gotten more YouTube-Kids-ified over the past few years, I will still say that it’s still a good show with great animation that helps it stick out better than the melon does. And it’s still going pretty strong, so I definitely recommend you check it out at some point. More specifically you should check out the episodes narrated by Stephen Fry. Those are the best ones.

No, seriously. StoryBots and Cocomelon are almost identical in what they started out as and what they’ve become. They both started out as just short songs on YouTube to entertain kids, they both got bought by Netflix, and they both got to create their own Netflix original shows.

So what makes StoryBots the better option? I’ll tell you right now: Substance. StoryBots has it in droves.

More than any other show I’ve talked about, StoryBots takes every problem Cocomelon has and not only fixes it but does it fantastically.

Cocomelon songs are all boring, repetitive, and mindless? StoryBots songs are all earworms that I can still remember to this day. (And yes I do mean all of them. Even the nursery rhymes.)

Cocomelon doesn’t teach kids anything other than the most basic of basic lessons? StoryBots teaches everything from basic phonics and math, to stuff like multiplication, budgets, stocks, and taxes. Yeah, you heard me. StoryBots has an episode that not only teaches kids about taxes but does it in a way that’s easy for them to understand. (Cocomelon would never. It doesn’t have the balls.)

Cocomelon’s cast consists of 3D pieces of cardboard with no distinct character traits? StoryBots has five of the greatest kids show characters I’ve ever seen, and so many unique and memorable side characters that make the world feel alive and exciting.

Cocomelon’s animation is generic and pretty bad? StoryBots has SO many different animation styles and they all look awesome!

Cocomelon doesn’t make any attempts to appeal to the parents who might have to watch their show? StoryBots has actual humor and a nice array of guest stars who play characters that grownups might recognize.

Cocomelon is purposefully taking advantage of kids' attention spans and damaging them so they can make endless money? StoryBots is trying to teach kids about actually important things they’ll need to know in life and making it fun for them.

Greg and Evan Spiridellis deserve so much credit for making such a great program for kids that is engaging, enjoyable, and enriching at the same time. StoryBots currently has 4 different series, and an amazing Christmas special on Netflix, not to mention tons of great videos on YouTube, so you’d be doing your kids (If you have any) and yourself a tremendous favor by doing so.

I don’t know whether or not the Spiridellis brothers have any future plans for the StoryBots, but if not, they should make some, because we need the StoryBots now more than ever.

Now, some of you still might be wondering, “Why does any of this matter? Why do you care so much about what kids that aren’t even yours are watching? What’s the point of comparing these TV shows to some small YouTube channel?” I’ll tell you right now. I care because I love TV. I love the fact that I can watch something that has characters I can relate to & enjoy, stories that I can engage with, and even lessons I wouldn’t have known beforehand. While I didn’t have a horrible experience in elementary school, I will tell you, I remember more things from the stuff I watched than most of the stuff I learned in class. It was thanks to the likes of Nick Jr., Playhouse Disney, and PBS Kids that my developmental years were fun to get through.

So, to see Cocomelon and other shows like it rob children of those kinds of experiences by getting them addicted to their mindless slop all for the sake of making money, that really annoys me. And make no mistake, this isn’t some small issue. Cocomelon, as of typing these words, has 193 million subscribers, 1,535 videos, and over 200,000,000,000 views, that’s more views than there are people on the planet. And this wouldn’t be such a big deal if the content Cocomelon was producing was good, or at the very least, decent, but again, it’s not.

All 9 shows I just talked about are the standards we should be holding children’s TV to. They all bring something unique to the table and are able to get their lessons across in ways that make sense and are easy for kids to understand, without bombarding them with constant visual stimulation. Cocomelon is like a drug dealer for your kids. They don’t have a child’s best interests at heart, and they don’t care what side effects the stuff they’re pedaling might have on their customers. They just want the money the views generate. And you don’t just have to take my word for it. There are multiple parents who make TikTok videos talking about the negative impact Cocomelon has on their kids, and this video below has statements from actual educational professionals. Yeah, even children’s education experts are aware of the damage this melon is inflicting.

And if this was going on at any other time, I wouldn’t be as compelled to write this article, but there’s a certain current event that brought the current state of children’s media to the forefront of my mind.

For those of you who weren’t aware, it was recently announced that Donald Trump is cutting federal funding from both PBS & NPR. That means he’s stopping these two public broadcasting networks from receiving the usual grants that go into making their educational programming. In other words, Trump & his rogue gallery are trying to shut down PBS Kids. And what is his reason for doing so? Because he thinks it promotes woke, leftist propaganda.

From NPR:

“In a statement on Monday that did not refer to the memo, the White House said: "For years, American taxpayers have been on the hook for subsidizing National Public Radio (NPR) and the Public Broadcasting Service (PBS), which spread radical, woke propaganda disguised as 'news.'" The statement includes examples of what the White House said is "trash that passes as 'news'" and "intolerance of non-leftist viewpoints. This month, on social media platforms, President Trump blasted the two primary public broadcasting networks, posting in all caps: "REPUBLICANS MUST DEFUND AND TOTALLY DISASSOCIATE THEMSELVES FROM NPR & PBS, THE RADICAL LEFT 'MONSTERS' THAT SO BADLY HURT OUR COUNTRY!"

And this was one of those moments in my life, where my main reaction was, “Yeah, you would think that, wouldn’t you?” Based on everything I’ve seen from him so far, this statement tracks, which really should go to show you what a sad state our country is in right now.

Now, much like many of you reading this, I was a PBS Kid, which means I know firsthand how meaningful and important it was to my generation. This ragtag group of kids, adults, dogs, cats, birds, monkeys, lemurs, aardvarks, rabbits, monsters, dragons, dinosaurs, trains, planes, construction machines, superheroes, Teletubbies, and everything else in between were probably some of the best teachers this world has ever known. Each show pictured here that helped make up this network was able to bring something unique and iconic to the table and taught us stuff in ways real schools just couldn’t. Through memorable characters, catchy songs, engaging stories, and a safe environment for us to not just learn & grow, but to enjoy ourselves and make memories that last a lifetime.

Evidently, those things are foreign concepts to Trump as it’s obvious he never watched a smidge of PBS in his life. If he did, he would probably be a MUCH better person than he is. And if he thinks PBS is dangerous, what’s stopping him from saying the same thing about Nick Jr. or Disney Junior? I think there may be a chance that Donald Trump will target all children’s television as propaganda from the left and find some way to get rid of most of the networks that help make kids’ lives better.

“But Noah, what does any of this have to do with Cocomelon?” Some of you may be asking? Well… the more I think about it, Cocomelon and other YouTube kids’ slop like it, feels like that kind of children’s entertainment Trump WOULD approve of. I mean, it’s basic, and low-effort. It doesn’t say or do anything unique. It doesn’t teach kids much of anything, or challenge them in any way, and best of all, it shuts them up for hours on end. Call me crazy, but doesn’t that sound like the kind of thing Donald would like?

This is just another theory, but I think the main secret reason why Trump is trying to defund PBS & NPR is that he’s jealous that they’ve made more of a positive impact on the world than he has.  They’re where you go when you want to learn what’s going on from trusted resources and people who truly care about the state of Earth and the people living on it. And trust me when I say you’re a lot more likely to learn something from a PBS show than you would from any Trump rally.

In a statement, NPR said: "Eliminating funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting would have a devastating impact on American communities across the nation that rely on public radio for trusted local and national news, culture, lifesaving emergency alerts, and public safety information."

 "We serve the public interest. It's not just in our name — it's our mission. Across the country, locally owned public media stations represent a proud American tradition of public-private partnership for our shared common good," it said.

Paula Kerger, PBS' CEO and president, said the Trump administration's effort to rescind funding for public media would "disrupt the essential service PBS and local member stations provide to the American people."

"There's nothing more American than PBS, and our work is only possible because of the bipartisan support we have always received from Congress," she said. "This public-private partnership allows us to help prepare millions of children for success in school and in life and also supports enriching and inspiring programs of the highest quality."

The point I’m trying to make here is that PBS defined what children’s television & entertainment should be, and those inspired by it met that standard. And if we stand idly by and let Trump, Elon, and our current office succeed in bulldozing it, more shows like Cocomelon will continue to rise in the absence of it.

I recently read that Dreamworks is starting production on a Cocomelon movie. Let me repeat: Dreamworks is working on a Cocomelon movie. Putting aside the question of how to turn a nursery rhyme video collection into an hour-long theatrical experience, this is such a low blow for Dreamworks that they would partner up with an organization that is actively harming children’s development skills. If this movie actually goes through with production, I can only imagine what it’ll be like on opening day: crowds of babies and toddlers with eyes glued to the big screen for hours, letting the dopamine of this children’s version crack consume their brain cells, and then devolve into crying fits when the movie ends. Truly a horrifying experience.

So, what can you, yes you reading this, do to stop the downfall of children’s television? Well, there are a few things:

1. If you have or are looking after kids DO NOT, let me repeat, DO NOT show them Cocomelon: Or if you have, and they’re already hooked, stop letting them watch it. The best way to stop the brain rot from taking effect is to cut it off at the source. You may have to deal with some temper tantrums, but getting your kids off of this stuff will be super beneficial for them in the long run.
2. Show them quality children’s content: Like I said, I’m a children’s television connoisseur, so I’ve seen everything in the world of children’s TV. So, I made a list of all the programs that I’ve grown up with and recommend. I’ll provide the link to it at the end. You can find clips and full episodes of pretty much all the shows I listed, so I suggest looking them up there, or, if you prefer the home media route, you can find DVDs and/or VHSs of them at a thrift store, your local library, or on eBay.
3. For the love of god, if the Cocomelon movie somehow becomes a reality, DO NOT GIVE YOUR MONEY TO IT: Even if you just want to watch it while high and take a nice acid trip, just wait for it to come out on streaming. Don’t support something that’s actively harming this generation’s children. If this movie gets popular, it’ll send the wrong message to the wrong people, and pretty soon we’re gonna be getting a LOT of movies based on YouTube Kids’ Slop.
4. And this is the most important thing, Support PBS: If it wasn’t already obvious, PBS is going through a really tough time right now, and they need all the help they can get. Down below, I’ll provide links where you can donate to your local PBS station and learn more about the situation. Don’t stand idly by and let Trump take away one of our most important resources of education AND entertainment.

And that, my friends, is why Children’s Television is better than Cocomelon. To those of you still reading, I really hope you enjoyed it, or at the very least found it, informative. This was probably the most important blog I’ve ever made so far, but it couldn’t have happened all on my own, so I’d like to use these last few words to say that this blog was made possible in part by…

-My parents, who were open-minded enough to let me have access to a world of enriching programs, allowing me to find out things I never would have otherwise.

-All of my friends, both in-person and online, for taking the time to indulge my interests, supporting the things I do, and giving me excellent feedback and opinions.

-All of the teachers I’ve had and known. It’s because of what you do that most of these wonderful shows I just talked about exist. They prepped us with the basics so we could learn even more from you. Your jobs are very important and I appreciate it.

-Everyone who’s watched and loved any PBS show. PBS played a really big part in a lot of people’s lives and I’m glad we can all come together to return the favor for all of the lessons they’ve taught.

And last, but most certainly not least, you know that this blog was made possible by…

Links

My list of kids' TV shows: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17o2lHE4IA9IAYI0rWSm_zgz732nfoQTI6tbvtz8F-6A/edit?usp=sharing

Official PBS Website: https://www.pbs.org/

PBS Foundation: https://foundation.pbs.org/ways-to-give/

Protect My Public Media Website: https://protectmypublicmedia.org/

Donation Link: https://www.pbssocal.org/support/donate 

The Video That Inspired This Blog: https://youtu.be/CQJ576sgv2M?si=AGvIP-doi4rcyd68

Another Video About The History Of PBS Kids: https://youtu.be/0GdWS-Tyvgw?si=cnYIA7CNO0PYDdbu